August is Breastfeeding Awareness Month. Now, I can sing the praises of breastfeeding, but I do know how difficult the whole process is and how for some mothers it just doesn't work out. And there is nothing wrong with formula. However, I do feel it’s important as a society to support and encourage the mantra of “breast is best”. We are still uncomfortable with seeing women breastfeed (hopefully done discreetly) in public. With the all the “hooter hiders” out there available for us to use, or even a simple light blanket to cover ourselves, we do what we must to feed our baby. I think it’s this lack of support from other women and society that makes breastfeeding a “taboo” subject still today.
*Let me share with you a little story. I sent my husband out to get me a bebe au lait nursing cover. Remembering that they sell it at Nordstrom's in the baby department, he went by himself after work to get one. Yeah send a guy to do this. Once there, he couldn't find it. He apprehensively approached a young, twenty-something female and politely asked, with a straight face, "Do you know where they sell 'hooter hiders'?" The girl, probably confused and a bit embarrassed for him for using the word "hooter", didn't know and brought him to an older Filipino lady working nearby. Again, he had to repeat his question, this time trying to avoid using the term "hooter hider".
Hubby: Do you know where those things women use to like, um, those things, to cover themselves when feeding?
Filipino salesperson: What? (confused look)
Hubby: Those things. (now using his hands trying desperately to demonstrate) I think they're called "hooter hiders" (caving in to using the term).
Filipino salesperson: (eyeing him suspiciously) You mean, "nursing co-ber" (with filipino accent).
Hubby: Redfaced and speechless.
Yes, please send a man to do this, your husband, boyfriend, fiance, father, father-in-law, brother--it's just too funny. Make sure you tell them to look for a "hooter hider".
Most workplace environments don’t provide private spaces for working mothers to pump their milk. The company I used to work for didn’t have a “lactation room” (later to be renamed, “wellness room” so as not to isolate men from using it) til we moved to a new office building. The lactation room was a fairly nice room. It was tucked away, with a small sink and fridge to store pumped breast milk, and a comfortable and pricey recliner. Prior to that, my coworker used to have to lock the door of an empty office and pump for fifteen minutes, while the whirring sound of the machine could be heard everywhere.
My own experience with breastfeeding was not as traumatic as some women. Our nugget, upon birth, had low blood sugar so I had to supplement with formula via “SNS”(supplementing nursing system), which still allows a woman to breastfeed. I had to do this for a month or so. It was exhausting, but my son was breastfed.
The New Yorker, some months ago, put out an interesting article chronicling the invention of the breast pump and how breastfeeding was normally reserved for the lower class and formula feeding for the upper class. It wasn’t till 1997 that the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) realized and publicly supported women breastfeeding. Crazy huh? Twelve years later, even in other parts of the world, people are surprised that people who can afford formula choose to breastfeed.
Yeah, I can extol the virtues of having my son drink my milk, but more importantly, for those that are having a difficult time and want to give up, I say, please keep trying. I know it’s painful and frustrating. But there are many of us breastfeeding mamas around to support you in your struggle and want you to try and “stick it out best you can”. It will get better and easier, as with all aspects of motherhood.
If however, you feel you just can’t and have tried your best, then I encourage you to pump and still give your babies your milk. That way your child is still receiving the benefits of mother’s milk. I did struggle with breastfeeding in the beginning and have breastfed my son in public with a nursing cover. Awkward, yes. But the benefits far outweigh the snickers and stares. I think there is something created between mother and child when you breastfeed, that just cannot be replicated with bottle-feeding. I made the choice to breastfeed and I had the support of my family, husband, and best friend, which was key. I knew my son was receiving the health benefits of my milk, I was burning 500 extra calories a day, it was cheaper than formula, my son had unrestricted access to food (which also meant, I had to be with him most of the time), I didn’t have heavy bottles to prepare or lug around in my diaper bag, and I actually grew to enjoy it. Even if I couldn’t breastfeed, I would still encourage others to do it if they can. There were times I wanted to give up, and I did supplement with formula from time to time (depending on my milk production and his ever-increasing appetite), and my goal as of now, is to continue to breastfeed til he’s 1.
There are some medical professionals, and even the La Leche League, who are known to be a bit overbearing and zealous when it comes to breastfeeding. Perhaps their approach is too heavy and what a struggling mother needs is a healthy, calming, a little bit of “coddling”, environment. If she just can’t and you see the frustration and pain is too much, then praise her for trying and allow her to make her decision to pump or formula feed. There’s enough out there to divide us mothers, let’s not let breastfeeding be one of them.
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