An Ode to My Husband

Yes, my husband deserves praises. Not because he changed our son’s diapers the entire first week of his life (as I recovered from my C-section), or he encouraged me to give up one feeding after the first month so he can bottle-feed our baby in the middle of the night to allow me continuous sleep, or the fact that the minute he comes walking through our door, after a hard day’s work, he seeks out our nugget and becomes primary caretaker for the next few hours, does bath time with our son, loves to clean, or helps edit my blog posts from time to time, no, it’s not those things.
 

He deserves praises because he gave me the best piece of advice a wife and new mother could ever hear. It came after a long day of caretaking for our baby who may have been 4 or 5 months at the time, and I was literally ready to lose it. I had called my best friend and vented, even cried a bit. My stress levels were at an all time high and I didn’t know how to bring them down. I wanted to run away. No, literally, I wanted to go for a run. I hadn’t exercised in over how many months and running used to be my release, my one activity I could rely on that always managed to calm my nerves and help me regain perspective. I craved the fresh air and hard pavement. My husband and I used to do races for goodness’ sake and my body was collapsing under the stress.

When he came home, I lost it and began crying and yelling at him. Yeah, it was uncalled for and probably freaked him out to see me like that. I was having my own mini-meltdown. He held me and said all those things you say to someone when they’re in dire need of help. And then he said, “Please go do something, anything. Take a drive, walk around the block, go for a run. Please. Take some time for yourself and don’t feel guilty, because in doing so, you’ll be a better mother for it.”

I needed to hear that and I needed to hear it from him. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust him with our son, but because I knew I would feel guilty in leaving my baby. But I needed my husband to assure me it was ok and that it’s what’s best for all of us. His support was crucial. He was my partner in crime after all.

Growing up in a Filipino household, I rarely saw my mom, if ever, take time for herself. She was too busy managing and maintaining a house, cooking dinner, doing the laundry, making sure the bathrooms were clean, and that my Dad got to rest when he came home. Everything was done for the family; there was no time for yourself. Unfortunately, my dad didn’t realize, nor offer her an escape from all that. One of the many things that I think lacked in their marriage and led to its demise. She could’ve used a few hours break here and there, regain her identity as a woman, and feel relaxed.

So now, I take any opportunity I can to spend some quality “me time”. I go for runs, get pedicures, take our dog for a leisurely stroll, or read a book somewhere in private. Or, my husband will take both our son and dog out of the apartment so I have the place all to myself. And that time allows me to reconnect, get refreshed, and miss them. So that when I reunite with all of them, I’m feeling much happier and lighter inside. Thank you honey! What do you do to de-stress?

*No, I didn’t write this post to make up for sharing that embarrassing “hooter hider” story. I did it because he came home last night with a lemon bar from Peet’s, which I love :) With any luck, I'll get another today for this post.