Oh Lolo! (with a head sigh)

Yesterday, I had my routine doctor's appointment to ensure Micron's heartbeat is doing well and to make sure the pregnancy is thus far, healthy. All good. I left Micro with his Lolo for a few hours while I went out to dinner with a girlfriend for a much needed girl's night out (hey, we're both moms and so much for our night out, we were both home by 8:30 p.m. (just when it was starting to get dark...Lol!!--oh how times have changed!) So Mr. Fliz came home after work to relieve Lolo from his duties. As it so happens, they chatted and my Dad made a remark about Micro and me--something along the lines of, "They seem to 'fight' a lot." Upon hearing that, I chuckled and told Mr. Fliz, "Shows how much child-rearing my dad did as my sister and I grew up."

It set off a button. Micro and I don't fight. As with any stay-at-home mom, you have your moments with your kids, which can easily be mistaken that we're arguing. In my case,it's being 6 months pregnant and trying to keep a toddler from destroying all the furniture in the apartment while trying to teach him how to behave properly. Good luck, right? How do you argue with an 18 month old anyway? See, Lolo has never had to stay home ALL DAY watching my sister and I for days at a time. Because if he did that, people would accuse my dad of 'fighting' a lot with his kids too. My mom stayed home when my sister was born and we had already moved to the U.S. I know it wasn't easy to raise two girls in a foreign country where we didn't have the support of family or good friends nearby.

In fact, upon Micro's birth, it was even more obvious that my dad didn't do a lot of the child-rearing or domestic duties. When he would come over to watch Miles, the messes they both made, were still there for me to clean up. A stark difference if my mom was watching. She would take the time to help clean up our place in addition to watching Miles--which helped me out in the long run--especially when you're a first-time mom. Don't get me wrong, my Dad is super helpful in watching Miles and spending time with him. He plays with him and entertains him perfectly. But Miles is different when it comes to Lola, and that may be because she has all the experience in knowing how to differentiate the cry of a diaper change, being hungry, tired, or just needing to. And mom was helping me clean the kitchen, fold laundry, or whatever housework I had neglected those first few months. Women are naturally nurturing (for the most part, not all, but most) and babies and toddlers are drawn to that. 

I'll let that comment yesterday from Lolo pass. I know during my parent's time and especially in the Philippines, roles of men and women were clearly defined. The man works, while the woman is left to household duties and child-rearing. I'm lucky that times have changed, as it's important for Mr. Fliz to play an active role as "Dad." He is extremely helpful and has always been since Micro came out of the womb. He shares in household duties and even attempts to cook dinner once in a while (might I add, successfully at times too). So next time I hear Lolo make some lame remark, I'll try not to let it get to me--because he has no idea what he's talking about.