Spring is in the Air. And in my step.

I love tulips. Especially, yellow tulips. I love the color yellow (which is why it was part of my wedding color scheme) and the picture above is from a few years ago when I was pregnant with Micro and was taking a photography class in San Francisco. I ventured into the city near Fisherman's Wharf for some inspiration and came across these beautiful flowers and naturally, it made my heart sing. Spring is fun and festive and also marks the beginning of "getting in shape" season, so that come Summer, sporting a bathing suit isn't considered 'cruelty'. At least for me, that is.

I've signed up for my first race in over four years. Just this past Monday I ran the longest I've ran since I've had Micron--FIVE MILES!! Can I get a, "whoo hoo! HOLLA!" ?! I've gone past my measly two miles here and there and ever so slowly building back up to doing 10-15 miles a week. It felt incredible to run that distance and though this race is only a 12k, I'm looking forward to signing up for another half marathon and finally, doing a Marathon. I love running. My love affair of running began in college. I didn't drink soda, coffee, and tea, nor did I use caffeine pills to stay up (trust me, I was still a lot of fun to hang out with ok) --how was I going to hang in there and study for finals when my eyes began to droop at 10 p.m. from reading textbooks. Enter my then-friend, Mary. She invited me for a run around campus late at night to shake the sleepiness that was overtaking me as we were studying for finals. The cold air certainly woke me up, but the rush of endorphins after a run really gave me the energy boost I so badly needed. It was that euphoric feeling of a good sweat and not the strong calves and great over-all workout (plus it's cheap--buy a pair of shoes and just go outside and run) that drew me. And since then, I've loved running. 

Even while I was pregnant with both babies, I managed to keep up my running during the first trimester (not an easy feat when you're plagued with morning sickness a lot). With Micro, I eased off my feet and began swimming more. With Micron, well, having Micro meant I was chasing after a toddler that soon realized the joy of running--running away from Mommy, that is. I did a lot of light jogging and walking. 

Staying active is a lifestyle for me and it makes me a happier, healthier mama. Welcome Spring, I'm glad you've arrived.

Book Plug: Michael Recycle

In our household, being green is important. Well, we do our very best to be a eco-conscious, environmentally-friendly family. We had a compost, recycle, and trash bin during Micron's Baptism celebration held at our house. And I've already told you we use G diapers at home. So naturally, we gravitate towards books that would encourage our kids to practice what we preach. 

Michael Recycle is one such book that Micro truly enjoys having us read to him. Given by our good family friends, the Louie's, this book has become a family favorite. The superhero is none other than a young boy who goes from town to town, encouraging townsfolk to clean up and recycle.

It's colorful and the poetic. The illustrations are cheery and the lesson is the importance of keeping our beautiful town clean. Micro loves to be useful and whenever I ask him to either "put {this/that} away," he'll casually ask me, "Recycle Mommy or throw?" How adorable, right.

Too cute for words

Sir Tony

Really, need I say more? This is my godson "Sir Tony," an extremely happy and beautiful baby. He is my sister-in-law's youngest child and Mr. Fliz and I are to be his Godparents. Micron and he will be partners in crime as they grow up. They're only 3 months apart. I'm just hoping he doesn't leave a trail of broken hearts in the process ;)

The hold up

Ok, I did say I'd be back to posting. Well, here's the thing. Yes, there's always a thing. My trusty card reader and my memory card for my cameras are both missing (heaving sobs). Yup, I've been lamenting to the hubs, and still can't find it. It's been missing since the move. YES, THAT LONG AGO. It's somewhere here in this house, and though the hubs and I have searched high and low, we still have not come across it. It must've fallen into the dark void that exists when you have children. So I haven't been able to offload my pics (the USB cable that comes with my camera is having issues and can't handle downloading large video files--LAME!) and post things I want to. Hence, the hold up. 

I will do one more search and rescue mission around the house when I can, and if all else fails, I'm caving in and buying another card reader. However, I do have this on the way, which may help me in the long run. You ask, "Why buy another card reader if you have that on the way?" Because I still need to download the pics from my camera. It's complicated ok. 

Instead, I'll share with you things I'm currently reading and very much into. I've been REALLY into design and fashion blogs lately. As I stated before in a previous post, I'm committing to re-vamping, re-defining me this year. Meaning, having had babies almost back to back, I'm in need of getting out of  "I'm a Mom, so I only wear sweatpants and oversized t's." Not that it's bad, but really, it's no longer my thing. However, I'm not getting rid of those clothes because they're still pretty comfy. I'll drop the hoodies and opt for cute Henleys or at least, textured, light-weight hoodies ;)

I've got my first race since 2006 (gasp!!) lined up for mid May, and I'm super excited. I plan on getting back into doing races and getting back into shape. Not for looks, but for my sanity, because before kids, I was pretty athletic. Below is the first step of a "new" me. Though heavy bangs are last season-I think it's still relevant and different enough for me to pull it off. Also, you can't tell, but I colored my hair a rich, dark auburn.

New haircut. Notice how Micron looks exactly the same in every pic.

Here's a few posts I read this week, that are entertaining, and I think you'll enjoy. I love her blog and her design aesthetic, and her food posts are crave-worthy. Hello, can we say, "luscious." I like to just check-in on this blogger, because she's local, cute, and chic. By the way, stay tuned for the next book plug. Coming Soon. 

Ohh, and have a peek later at the end of April at my food & travel blog, because I'll be reviewing Ad Hoc for the hub's birthday. 

Uhh, how long are you going to stay unplugged?

Don't fear my dears. I'm sorry for the lack of posting, but it's been ever so hectic over at our household (when is it not, right?). I promise to come back very, very soon. Like, tomorrow. Micron got baptized a week and a half ago and then my baby sister turned 30!! Yup, 30!! Can you believe that's my baby sistah?! So of course, still reeling from the business that is my life--I've had little chance to sit down and post properly.

If you haven't made any donations to relief efforts for Japan, please do so. There are a multitude of sites hosting campaigns for donations, but I've always given to the American Red Cross. Dig into your pockets, I know even $5 will help. Every little bit makes a difference, if you don't believe that, perhaps you should watch Tony talk to Mr. Sean Penn in Haiti.

UnPlUg

If Sergey Brin, the co-founder of Google can do it, heck, so can I. Beginning at sundown on March 4, 2011 til sundown of March 5, 2011, is National Day of Unplugging. That's right people, disconnect to connect. 

It's a great idea in theory, but can we practice it? I've challenged myself and my family to commit to no T.V., no computers, no iphone (except to answer and make necessary--key word there--phone calls) for 24 hours. In this digital, immediate gratification age, this disconnecting should probably be practiced more often. Easier said than done, and that's coming from a stay-at-home-mom. I'd rather hop online to read some posts from my favorite blogs, cyber shop, or catch up on celebrity gossip when I find some down time for myself. When really, I should be reconnecting with my "inner me." Perhaps that would make me a happier person (back off clinical psychologists--I know you've got your share of words). 

When most of your life is consumed by answering and catering to the demands of people smaller than you in physical size, who don't remember to say "thank you" and "please", and who often feel their needs come first, ALWAYS, it's easy to lose your sanity. Finding your zen can be too much when you've got a mere 30 minutes before those small people wake up and start their list of demands. My daily distraction has become logging on and plugging in. Well, I made a commitment earlier this year, and I'm doing my best to stick to it. I promised to become my more fashionable self, to return to healthier eating habits, and getting back into prime physical shape, after having had two kids so close together. Not an easy commitment by any means, but a goal that is always in the back of my mind. 

Because I was a fashionable, physical, and happier person before. Not that I'm not right now--it's just that once motherhood hit me, I had to reinvent me. A different me, a more responsible, always putting myself last, me. I love being a mom, but there were heavy prices and sacrifices I made to be where I am, and I'm not necessarily super content with it. Part of that is learning to unplug from unnecessary distractions (who cares what Sheen tweeted this time?). I've become so dependent on escaping through the web, that I've forgotten how to escape the good ol' way--by taking in my environment and enjoying "the now."

So join me fellow mamas. Unplug everyday. Find the niche in your downtime, to enjoy the peacefulness, the stillness--that's right--celebrate dull moments if you must. Back away from your phones, take a step back from the lure of the computer screen, and breathe. Just breathe and be happy.

Good person Bad Mom

photo courtesy of evil erin flickr

Yesterday Micron turned 6 months. Although, according to our new found friend, Kevin, when he asked how old she was and I responded accordingly, he said, "So she's 0." Yes my dear wunderkind. Oh well.

I decided to celebrate this little milestone by taking the kiddos to the Zoo and having a picnic there. I even managed to shower and organized everything while Micron took her morning nap. I was so proud of me-self. And the day progressed along greatly. It was a warm day in the Bay, considering we'd been having a tremendous amount of rain, which so happened to dampen poor Micron's energy levels. Or rather, poor me. So any excuse I can get out and about with my rug rats is welcomed.

We live about 15 minutes away from the Zoo. An easy escape for us. Both Micron and Micro thoroughly enjoyed the warm sun and we managed to see so many animals that we normally don't. What a treat! The day's events had pooped both my babies and they both napped very well. However, once they woke up, it was a different story.

In fact, I could have mistaken them for someone else. Micron was the worst one of all. The girl really, realLY, reaLLY, reALLY, rEALLY, REALLY despises me when I put her down. Which makes my life all that much harder. Forget using a Bjorn or an Ergo, there are just times when you can't use those things to do some things. That, and I refuse to always rely on them. Babies can't always be held. Let me tell you, Micron can scream, cry, and yell, like no other child I've ever met. Micro NEVER behaved this way. Ever.

I thought their might really be something wrong with her emotionally, physically, and mentally because her screaming was scaring our dog. But no, I didn't find any white spots underneath her gums indicating a tooth may pop out soon, nor was she feeling ill, no poop, and she wasn't hungry. Her cries couldn't be attributed to any of the above.

Ahh, but the minute I pick her up, she stops. The heavy sobs cease. Her face returns to a normal color, and is no longer purple from the banshee screams. She folds her hands like a little angel about to pray. Who is this kid? And why, WHY is she driving me MAD??? Yet, this time Micron kept at it. Exhausted from the heat and dragging two kids through a hilly zoo, I lost it. Now, before you all judge me, let me remind you, I am not alone in this. I'm not trying to excuse my behavior. What I did next, is not ok and I feel completely horrible about it.

I screamed back at Micron and yelled at the top of my lungs. I had been driven to the edge. And it felt like I couldn't come back. I continued to scream about how difficult my life had become since having had children, and calling them, "awful brats," when they weren't. I stormed through the house throwing toys about and yelling at Micron to stop crying. I swear, the neighbors probably wanted to call the cops on me for "disturbing the peace." I was in super bad Mommy mode. And not in the good way. I was my worst self. An all new low for me. Don't get me wrong, I've lost it a couple times, but never in the way I did yesterday. It sucked. I sucked.

Somehow, while changing Micron on the changing table and looking at her red face and swollen eyes (from all the crying), I came to. Regret hit me like a ton of bricks. I held my baby and felt her warm tears pour on my face. Micro came running in and held onto my legs saying, "Mama, Mama, I'm sorry." I wanted to cry, to go back in time and take my actions back. I felt so far away from God that I didn't realize how much I had hurt my babies with my scary, loud voice and bad attitude. I had become like my father when he used to smoke. A scary, scathing, mean person with a bad temper. (He's no longer like that people) I had in those few moments, become everything I despised.

I held onto my babies, stooped down to embrace Micro and said, "I'm so sorry. Mama's so super sorry." I had to regain control of my emotions and remind myself to set an example to my kids. I'm not afraid to apologize when I'm wrong. Growing up, when my parents were clearly out of line with me or my sister, we never got an apology from them. I promised myself, that when I become a parent, I would parent differently. I want my kids to know that from time to time, Mommy and Daddy make mistakes too and we owe them an apology. Micro and Micron, this is for you. Maybe one day, you'll become parents and experience something like this (hopefully not), but realize, you're human, and that you can make amends for it.

How does the guilty party make up for all that? Bake cookies. (I'm not making light of the situation ok, just saying that a little sweetness never hurt anybody.)

You Light Up Our Lives

3/3/11 Micron at 6 mos

 This is for our little Micron.

 

We love your wispy hair, 

Especially the long few strands behind your right ear.

How lucky we are to have you here. 

Never could we have imagined how much 

More our hearts could grow.

It's interesting how God surprises us so.

You are perfect in every way,

Like the sun's mighty rays.

Happy Six Months our beloved little girl.

You've given us the world. 

 xoxo,

Mum & Dad

Book Plug: Miles the Crocodile Plays the Color of Jazz

 I just realized that February flew by. With it being the shortest month, it was hard to keep up with everything and I missed doing a book review. So this month, you'll get two. Since Lent starts next week, and in the spirit of New Orleans, where Jazz reigns supreme, I'm recommending, "Miles the Crocodile Plays the Colors of Jazz." This book was given to Micro from his Ninang (Godmother) and quickly became a family favorite. The book comes with a jazz cd. 

We started reading this book to Micro a little after he turned 1. Written by 17- year veteran jazz musician, Andy Blackman Hurwitz, the pictures are very colorful. The material is a bit hard to grasp for young toddlers, but the book still has plenty to offer. It's a great book to play the "I Spy" game. Mr. Fliz and I would point out the various objects on the page and teach it to Micro. He soon began recognizing those objects himself and would get excited whenever he correctly identified one. It was great for expanding his vocabulary and building his interest in colors. The illustrations are vibrant and the tone of the story is playful. I'm looking forward to sharing this book with Ms. Micron when it's time.

Everyday Angels

photo courtesy of flickr by bennylin 0724

Now I know all you parents out there understand the importance (and difficulty) of the TREMENDOUS responsibility on our shoulders to raise our children properly and to be good people. Sometimes, I find it to be overwhelming to accept this responsibility and I (like many other moms I know) want to cry like a baby and wonder why I had kids in the first place. Such, was my Tuesday morning. Last week had been incredibly rough for both Micro and Micron. They were off their "schedules" for many days. Normally, they can handle 2-3 back-to-back "off schedule" days, but this had been going on for over a week and I had the intention of getting them back (as well as myself) on track starting yesterday. And yesterday was good as we started off the week with a playdate that resulted in some much needed outdoor activity and both kids taking long naps. Ahh, thank you Lola for that gift. 

Well, Tuesday mornings are apparently much different. I couldn't get Micron to stop crying EVERY single time I put her down. EVERY. TIME. Now, something tells me she might be teething, but I can't get her to leave her mouth open long enough for me to check her gums, and when I try to rub my finger along the bottom of her gums, she's often trying to close her mouth. So, here I am trying to get ready and just head out the door with both little rug rats and I've got one rug rat screaming bloody murder at the top of her lungs, while the other one is screaming to bring more toy cars (you have TWO HANDS buddy, unless you pop out another arm, you're only taking TWO TOYS). I slowly began to withdraw into my state of "ignore everything and just keep moving." I kept telling myself, don't begin to cry and ignore that icky feeling at the bottom of the pit of your stomach. YOU can do this, just get past all the tears and drive. I had a few errands to run and one of them required me to return a few items to the store. 

Well folks, I believe that the Good Lord always has a way of sending you messages in the most unusual forms. On Tuesday morning, he sent Leslie. I don't know Leslie very well. In fact, I met Leslie in the parking lot while I was setting up my stroller and hauling both kids out of my car. Leslie had parked his huge SUV right next to my little itty bitty hybrid. Leslie was such a gentleman that he patiently waited and allowed me to take those extra 5 minutes to get my crap together. During that time he and I began a conversation that started with him saying, "Oh my gosh, you are one good-looking little boy." Now, I'm not trying to toot Micro's horns or anything like that, but I quickly retorted (and mimicked a scowl) to Leslie, "He may be cute, but he's in his terrible two's."

Leslie then proceeded to tell me a little about parenting and how important our responsibility as parents are and that there's no such thing as "terrible two's" and so forth. For the record, he wasn't preaching to me or telling me what to do, he and I were just talking about having kids (and where he found the preschool and grammar school). His wife is a clinical child psychologist and he's a SAHD (and he's in his 50's, at least). Leslie told me, "As parents, we just have to raise our children properly and guide them in becoming the best of themselves (even if that means, we won't always be happy with the outcome)." He was such a warm, proud, and very loving Dad. How do I know when I just met the guy? I could feel it in my heart. The way he talked about his kids and how he proceeded to remind me that parenting is challenging, but the rewards are exceptional and it's the toughest job--all those things we know and often hear from others. Somehow, his gentle demeanor, warm smile, and "fatherly" tone was what I needed to make the rest of Tuesday morning more pleasant. In my heart, I believe my Lola had sent Leslie to help bring me away from the brink of "breaking down" amidst the crying children and my feeling of hopelessness. Lola was reminding me to keep moving forward. She, after all, raised four children (mostly on her own as my Lolo passed away early on), six grandchildren, and in some small way, helped raised six great-grandchildren. I heard you Lola and I'm still listening. Thank you Leslie. I hope I can be an angel to someone at some point and help make their day easier and better.