Pardon the title of this blogpost. I've had one of THOSE days about two days ago. And I became That mom. The one spewing awful, ugly remarks about having kids, and how difficult they are, and how I wish, just once-in-awhile, just a little bit, they'd cooperate and not make an event out of every little thing, and what brats they were, and see what you'll be like if you ever become parents--Yeah, I said those in front of them. Ugh! Ew! Yup, parent-of-the-year award, right here! I should've called my girlfriend and vented those things to her…not to my pre-schooler and kindergartner. Alas, I am not infallible and though my feelings were completely normal, I behaved like a child, too. I should've taken a deep breath, walked away and saved my drama for my gf's and happy hour.
Micron had been home sick from school the first two days of this week and Wednesday was her first day back. Of course, in her dramatic fashion, she decided to get upset about going back to school because she would be unable to cuddle with me and watch Jake and The Neverland Pirates or Sophia the First mindlessly. And this cabin-fever, tired, and cranky mom lost it. I've had a rough few weeks with both kids going through some weird sickness and coming down with mild cases of croup, and have had to miss my precious workouts (which provide me lots of sanity and stress relief). Yes, call me selfish. But it's those little breaks I get that make me a good mom. And fresh air.
Ok, the kids deserve lots of TLC when not feeling well, and as good parents we should coddle and "baby" them a bit. But for two weeks non-stop, it's a bit much and being human, I began to feel the build-up of frustrations. It's not my kids' fault they got sick. They're children and teaching and reminding them how to behave accordingly so as to not catch illness or whatever crap is going around, is difficult. Also, I know their bodies need to learn to fight off infections and whatnots on it's own. But sheesh, we are in the midst of flu season and both my babes had come down with something that their little bodies just are having a hard time fighting.
These are the days that fully remind me of just what I had signed up for. Apart from the trials and tribulations of being pregnant, childbirth, and then raising this preciousness, there are also the multitude of tantrums that come from nowhere (or just because the other sock doesn't match), the picky eating habits that develop spontaneously, and the ever-increasing demands on my time. See I am selfish. Parenting is hard. It can be really, really shi*%y at times. No amount of hugs, kisses, piggy-backs, money, candy, chocolate, or TV can really calm a child in the midst of them being upset over something you have no idea why. It just is what it is. We are terribly complex organisms.
There are all these guidelines about how to properly nurture and raise a good person. But man, it's scary and oh so frustrating! That's ok, because I knew going into this, I would have rough days. Yes, I didn't expect it to get that rough, and it will probably be even rougher as my babes age.
But there, I put it out in the universe. A quick, honest blurb about my feelings. And it feels good.
thank you. that's all.
Keep Surviving Parents
Friday, October 3, 2014
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